2020 – let the new adventures begin!

2020 – let the new adventures begin!

Good evening all!

I’ve decided to keep this blog running, to see if I can bring it back to life! I hope this post finds you all well? Myself, not so much! I literally feel like I’m falling apart! I’ve had several new diagnoses this year already, and potentially adding another to it. I’m currently waiting on blood test results, as they think I may be heading back down the road of chronic fatigue syndrome, like I had in my early 20s. I’ve also got high blood pressure, which is likely due to my weight and stress levels lately. 2019 wasn’t the best year for us, so many things went wrong, in some cases catastrophically. Financially we seriously struggled, but we’re slowly building ourselves back up, and I’m hopeful of getting back into a better position where money is concerned. I’m making changes to the way we do things, prioritising bills etc, and really trying to keep track of where our money goes. Literally every penny is being accounted for! I’ll openly admit that I’ve never been good with money, it’s been an issue for me since I was old enough to work and earn it. I’d often spend it before I’d got it, and payday saw it hit and leave my bank account simultaneously! But back then I lived with my grandparents, and didn’t have all the responsibility that I do now. Adulting can surely suck sometimes haha. I’m determined to get it under control and be fully organised with it all. I’ll keep you posted on that one, fingers crossed for me!!

We’ve also been dealing with a threenager, and honestly, it’s been the hardest age so far. I think we got off very lightly with the so called ‘Terrible twos!’ and we’re paying for it now! We’ve had lots of issues with sleep, patience, listening, and just behaviours in general. The good generally outweighs the bad thankfully, but in that moment when it’s bad, I genuinely despair and don’t know how we’ll get through it and out the other side. I’ve been pretty brutal on myself, very self critical, and blamed myself for so many things. I’ve regretted things I’ve said or done so many times I’ve lost count. I’ve found myself literally having to walk out of the house, just to get that moment to myself to calm and step back from the situation, otherwise I think I’d completely lose myself. I’ve had some very low times, where I’ve felt so lost and depressed, that I’ve shut down and genuinely been a horrible person to be around. I try my hardest to put on the brave face and all that, but it does get hard to sometimes. I don’t want J picking up on it too much though, as I know it’ll affect her negatively.

Aside from the struggles we’re having, she’s truly flourishing in other ways. Since starting preschool last September, she’s learning and developing at such a pace, I can’t keep up! Her speech and language has gotten so good, you can have a fairly good conversation with her, and she’s able to communicate her needs etc, which makes things alot easier in certain areas! She’s coming out of herself, her confidence is growing and she’s very keen to learn and try new things. She loves everything creative, like drawing, colouring, dancing, singing and making music. She has the most incredible imagination, and sometimes it’s like she goes into her own little bubble, making up scenarios and characters, and having little adventures with her dinosaurs, animals and dolls. It’s so lovely to watch. Preschool say she’s a wonderful child to have, and that she has a very caring and kind nature. They say she’s above average in some key areas of the EYFS, which makes us super proud! She’s also pretty much potty training herself! We’ve let her lead the way the whole time, so that she does things when she is ready. I won’t push her into doing things, as that makes her less keen on doing them. Whereas when she initiates things, she feels in control and it goes so much smoother and it’s less stressful all round! I don’t think it’ll be too much longer before she’s fully cracked it, as she’s doing so well with it currently. A few accidents here and there, but for the first week being out of nappies, she’s bossing it!

I still can’t comprehend the fact that in just over 5 months, she will be 4 years old, and then starting reception at primary school in September! Time seems to have just flown by, and I often wish I could slow it down or even pause it a while, to savour the moments more and relish in the adventures we have. I know I can’t though, so I’m really trying to make the most of every minute, make memories, and have lots of fun with our sweet girl. She’s going to do amazing things in her future, and I’m excited for her!

Right, there’s things I need to get done this evening, and I’m feeling pretty tired, so will sign off now. I really hope I can get this blog back up where it was all those months ago!

Take care all, and have a great weekend!

Mumma7716 x

Reboot/Refresh

Reboot/Refresh

Evening everyone,

Amazingly, its Sunday, and I’m actually blogging!! It’s a miracle 😂

Anyway, sadly it shall be fairly brief, as I’m currently being attacked by the damn flu virus and just want my bed…. ugh.

But, I wanted to make you all aware (if you’ve not yet noticed) the name and URL of my blog has changed today. It has happened for a couple of reasons, the first one being, I became the target of harrassment and abuse by online trolls/bullies, on my Facebook page. I won’t go into full details, as its irrelevant to be honest, but it was a continuous stream of reviews and comments, making out that I’m some kind of bully and awful person on social media. Those who know me in person, and those that have followed my blog for sometime, will know that isn’t who I am at all. I’m probably the least likely person to be a bully, having been the victim of bullies several times in my life. Although, I did think that that was all left behind in childhood and teen years, to fall victim to it again in my 30s has shaken my confidence somewhat I’ll admit. The comments were completely irrelevant to my blog or page anyway, as none of those commenting had ever liked my page or read my blog! Despite numerous reports of harrassment to Facebook, nothing was done. The people behind it then blocked me, so I couldn’t see their posts, but my friends and other followers of my page could. How that works I have no idea, Facebook is littered with flaws. So I made the decision to cut ties with the name and page, and start fresh. Besides, if you search on Facebook for The Unfiltered Mum, there’s many pages and groups, with varying adaptions to the name, so it wasn’t as unique as it originally was. So in a way, it’s probably a blessing in disguise!

So, I’m going forward as Mumma:7716. Which actually feels much better anyway, more accurate and relevant in many ways. As time has passed since the start of this blog, its evolved and my life has had added things thrown into the mix, that I feel can be better covered under the new name anyway. It’s the day I became a mum, and my new chapter in life began, so all in all, I’m kinda in love with it 😍 (yeah I’m weird….).

Right, soon be time to take more pills, generously apply vicks, put comfy pjs on and collapse into bed!

Good night all, and keep your eyes peeled for more posts coming soon, as I have some in “draft” mode to edit and publish!

Much love, X